I haven't been here in so long, maybe that is why I am failing so badly.
I am at the highest weight I have been in so long, I am so ashamed I can't even write the number down. People say that I don't look as if I have put on weight at all and that I look "healthy".
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THAT!!!
Such a lie.
I am still with my boyfriend which is excellent so he keeps me happy, which in a this is a bad thing of course. When I am happy I forget about calories counting, exercising and losing weight. I think about him all of the time. So in consequence my hips grow, my tummy gets less toned and all my bones disappear. Disgusting!
Of course I need to try and get myself back on track, I can't step onto the scales until I feel and look thinner. I think I'll have a nervous breakdown if I do.
I just know when I really try to lose weight everyone else around me gets concerned which makes things harder for me but I can't let these people hold me back anymore.
I WISH MY MUM HAD NEVER MADE GO TO THERAPY!
It ruined everything I had worked for. No one should ever know the secrets we keep so close to our heart. Never let anyone in, they ruin everything.
I do not even know where to begin with losing weight, that's how badly it has gotten.
I guess I'll find my thinspo book and read it all over again, it usually gets me back on track.
If I lose 22lbs I'll be happy and won't put myself in too much risk.
Fake happiness is the best thing I have right now.
Fool everyone.
I hope everyone on here is fine and had a good end to 2009.
Another year to battle on.
3 comments:
To start the weight lose you can try the ABC diet. I am doing it right now so I should see progress soon I hope. Try that to start with counting calories again and you will do fine.
Good luck love!
Welcome back!
Relationships always make me gain weight too. I am finally lower then the weight I was when I met my husband almost three years ago! He and I are really happy but I'm never going to let that be a reason for me to stop counting calories again.
I know you'll back on track soon. Good luck!
Anorexia and Bulimia are addictions just like alcoholism and drug abuse - and you have to treat them the same way. They don't treat alcoholics by first trying to give them better self-images. They first give them tools (the 12-step method) to control their addiction. Once their addiction is under control, then they can work on the other aspects of their lives.
Anorexics and Bulimics know that what they are doing is killing themselves - just like alcoholics and drug addicts do. Take control of your addiction and save your life. Then you'll be around long enough to change your life.
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