:)

I have been discharged from the mental health clinic now :). It's great.
I'm over my bulimia now which is amazing for me to be honest because i have realised it doesn't actually help at all throwing up food and i was a mess. Now i can concentrate on losing weight the normal way and also being a more strong willed person but only eating little amounts in the day instead of eating loads, losing control and then making myself sick.
I am still on target to lose weight and i have more control over myself now which is great. I can carry on losing weight without having to go to counselling for an eating disorder. No one to watch me anymore, it's lovely.

I have realised that however much i want to get better and not obsess over my weight or what i eat and be happy with whatever size i am, i know that this can never be true. I think i will always have these thoughts for as long as i will live, i can't get rid of it. It's like this blog i have had thoughts about deleting it but there is always something that keeps me writing in it and posting photographs. I feel without this obsession that i will be even fatter and even more of a disgrace so i can never be rid of it. I think many girls experience this. Weight and size shall always be a part of my life, the obsession with it just varies from week to week.


In other news i have been reading some magazines lately and loads of celebrities have been putting on weight recently like Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, Jennifer Aniston and Cheryl Cole. It shocked me especially to see Kate Moss bigger, she isn't modelling anymore though so i guess that is the reason. It scares me a little to see these women putting on weight i like reading about them losing weight as it's great inspiration for me. It's also very odd to see. I expect within a couple of months they will be losing weight again though.
Model thinspo :).