003 Just Lovely.

After the 5 day fast I realised how bad at fasting I actually am. I just couldn't do it at all. It was so difficult. By the third day I was eating again, it wasn't big amounts of food but still enough to make me feel like a complete fail when I'm actually supposed to be in the middle of a fast.
So I haven't posted here in a while because I haven't had anything to say or write. Nothing has changed. My weight is staying stable which is highly annoying even though my best efforts go into exercising and starving. I just can't shift much weight at the moment.

So today I went to the gym for an intense work out. My mother was at work so I could go without her knowing and I told my boyfriend I was taking a nap so I couldn't text him back, they both get really worried or annoyed whenever I go there. I really don't know why, it's good to go to the gym. It's healthy.
I burnt off every calorie I had consumed plus 8 more so my intake was -8. I felt so elated and proud of myself. I had eaten 400 calories before I went so I am glad. I got rid of them all.
The thing that gets me is when I get home from the gym. I feel so weak and horrible and grumpy, I feel as if I really need food which is infuriating.
I had some soup and a piece of brown bread when I got home which has put my intake back up to 130 calories.
I don't think that is so bad..but I'd still rather it be zero.
I wont have anything else today now as it's 6:34pm and I don't eat past 6pm.
I am sort of proud of myself but also still thinking I could do more. Maybe I'll do some little work outs before I go to sleep tonight.
Maybe tomorrow I will finally see a loss!